Crimson Hearts: LIVE! — Auditions
Soap Opera Sweeps Week. Some shows will do anything for ratings.
Another original production by The Uppity Improv Society of Brockville.
A backstage comedy. We need actors who can play actors playing actors.
It's the world premiere of Crimson Hearts: LIVE! — a backstage dinner-theatre comedy set during a chaotic taping of a long-running daytime soap opera. Think Noises Off meets Days of Our Lives, with practical effects nobody's quite prepared for.
We're casting eight roles. Auditions are open to anyone in the Brockville area and beyond. No experience required, but the play asks a lot of its cast — read on.
- Audition dates
- To be announced — check back soon
- Audition location
- 153 King St W, Brockville, ON
- Show dates
- November 27–29, 2026 (Fri / Sat / Sun)
- Performance venue
- Brockville Country Club
- Roles
- 8 (volunteer / non-paid community theatre)
- Rehearsals
- Mid-May 2026 through performance — see "Commitment" below
Or write to improv@uppity.ca with your preferred role and any timing constraints.
Eight characters. Big tonal range.
Click any role for full character notes — sides for each role are available in the next section.
DIANE
The star. She is also the smartest person in every room she enters, and she is exhausted. Her diva behavior is armor, not personality.
MARCIA
The spine of the show. Has held this production together for fifteen years using duct tape, threats, and ambient panic. Currently sleeping with someone she shouldn't be.
BRAD
Plays the male lead on the soap. Vain, dim, completely sincere. The role's comedy lives in his earnestness — he believes everything he says.
KAYLEIGH
New to the show, sleeping with two of her castmates. Morally compromised but not the villain — and not stupid. A shark in calm water.
WALT
On the show since 1987. Carries the entire emotional weight of the third act. The role of Walt may already be cast — we'll still hear all auditions and are open to being surprised. See note below.
TREVOR
Head writer who has been escalating storylines for nine years because no one respects him. He loves this show. He genuinely thinks his next big stunt will save daytime television.
JEN
The only competent person in the building. Functions as audience surrogate, narrator, and warm-up host. Real audience-interaction work — confidence and warmth required.
REGINALD
A Tony-winning Broadway actor doing a one-day guest spot as the wedding officiant. Treats this gig like Olivier doing Lear. The comedy is in his snobbery — but the payoff is in his sincerity.
Download Audition Sides
Each role has two sides — a comedic excerpt and a dramatic excerpt. Prepare both for the role you're auditioning for. You don't need to memorize. You may bring the pages with you. We'll provide a reader for the two-person scenes.
Each PDF includes the role's character notes, both sides with full setup, and what we're looking for in the audition.
Five steps.
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Pick your role
Read the role descriptions above. Download that role's sides PDF. Read both sides carefully — including the Setup and What we're looking for notes. Those tell you what we're actually evaluating.
If you're torn between two roles, pick the one you most want and prepare its sides. If we want to see you for another role, we'll give you those sides on the spot for a cold read.
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Book a slot
Auditions are scheduled in advance — we don't do walk-ins. Email improv@uppity.ca with your preferred role and timing constraints. Slots are 15 minutes each.
If you can't make any of the listed times, write to us and we'll do our best to accommodate.
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Prepare both sides
For your chosen role, prepare both sides. Read them out loud at home. Read them out loud to a friend. Read them out loud to your dog. The act of speaking the lines is more important than memorizing them.
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Show up
Arrive 10 minutes before your slot. Bring printed copies of your sides (we'll have spares). Bring a headshot if you have one — not required, but useful. Bring your filled-in conflicts form (link below). Wear whatever's comfortable. There is no dress code.
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The audition itself
We'll greet you, take your form, and chat for a minute. You'll perform Side A. You'll perform Side B. We may give you a note and ask you to try one of them again. We may give you a different role's sides for a cold read. Total time in the room: 10–15 minutes.
We'll let everyone know the casting outcome within two weeks of auditions. Callbacks (if any) will happen the following week.
Honest answers before you commit.
This is a long commitment.
We're rehearsing across 30 weeks — from mid-May 2026 through performance in late November. Most weeks aren't intensive. Some are. Here's the rough shape:
- May 16 – July 4 — Casual development phase. One evening a week. About 2–3 hours per week.
- July – August — Summer pause. No rehearsals. Live with your character.
- Late August – early October — Rehearsals twice a week. About 5–6 hours per week. Blocking and table work.
- Mid-October – mid-November — Rehearsals four times a week. About 12–15 hours per week. The intensive block.
- November 15–26 — Tech week. Most evenings. Long.
- November 27–29 — Performances.
Total commitment: roughly 95–110 hours over six months.
If those numbers concern you, talk to us before auditioning rather than committing and dropping out in October. Honesty serves everyone.
This is a tonally demanding play.
The script asks every cast member to play big comedy and quiet emotional truth in the same scene. The on-camera soap-opera moments need to be ridiculous. The backstage moments need to be real. Walt's monologue in the third act is the moment the play stops being a comedy and asks the audience to feel something real.
We're looking for actors who are excited by that range, not intimidated by it. If "play actors playing actors" sounds fun rather than confusing, you're our person.
Conflicts.
Tell us up front. We can work around vacations, family events, work travel — anything we know about with notice. We cannot work around "I might be busy that week."
The conflicts form (coming soon to this page) asks for any dates between now and November 29 you already know you'll miss. Bring it filled out.
A note on the role of Walt
The role may already be cast within the company. We're being upfront about this so you don't feel misled. However: we will hear all auditions for Walt with full attention, and we are genuinely open to being surprised. If you read for Walt and the audition makes us reconsider, we'll let you know.
If you read for Walt, take the warning in his Side B seriously: the actor who plays it big does not get the role. The actor who plays it small, dry, and almost embarrassed gets the role. Trust the silence.
Frequently asked questions.
Do I need theatre experience?
No. We have cast first-time actors before. Bring craft, curiosity, and a willingness to commit. The rest can be learned.
Can I audition for more than one role?
Yes. Pick your top choice for prepared sides. We'll give you any other sides you want to read on the spot.
Is this paid?
No. Uppity Improv Society is a community theatre and all roles are volunteer. We provide rehearsal materials, a great experience, and dinner on performance nights.
What if I can't make the audition date?
Email improv@uppity.ca before the audition date. We may be able to arrange a self-tape audition or an alternate slot. Don't just not show up.
Are non-binary actors welcome for the "Any" gender roles?
Absolutely. Trevor and Jen are explicitly written without gender. We're also open to non-traditional casting on the gendered roles — talk to us.
Will there be a reader for the two-person scenes?
Yes. We'll provide a reader. You won't have to bring a partner.
How will I know if I'm cast?
We'll email everyone — cast or not — within two weeks of the final audition. We promise. No ghosting.
What if I have a conflict during rehearsal?
Tell us up front on the conflicts form. Most things can be worked around. The intensive block in October–November has the least flexibility.
What if I'm intimidated by the tonal demands?
That's an honest answer to give in the audition itself. We'd rather hear "I'm scared but I want to try" than have someone fake confidence. The play needs people who can be honest in a room.
Can I bring my own headshot/resume?
Yes, but not required. If you have one, bring it. If you don't, don't worry about making one.
Is there parking at the audition location?
Details to follow.
We read every email.
Email improv@uppity.ca — we read every message and respond within 48 hours.
Follow @uppityimprov on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content as we move toward the show.
We're Brockville's original comedy community theatre company. We make work that takes comedy seriously — comedy that has heart, craft, and something to say.
Crimson Hearts: LIVE! is our most ambitious production to date, and we're looking for actors who want to be part of building something that will be remembered.
Welcome. We hope you audition.
— The Uppity Improv Society Casting Team